anonymous

if you wanna hold my hand
come get with me

edit -- yes, it was you i was talking about.

WEIRD.

What in the world. How come it still feels like you're connected to me somehow? And I just KNOW what you're going through, what you're feeling, what you've done, and how you regret such things?

But why do I feel like I've lost connection with the people who matter? The ones who need me and want me. How come I feel like I'm always there but I'm somewhere else at the same time. The deeper I fall into you, the further I run from everyone else.

wicka wicka wawa. woosa!
He'--They're too hot. (they're all the same)

The time it takes to fall. 1

It's easy. You just love me with all your heart and soul till the end of time.

And if you look a little closer, you'll see that if a person believes that life is terrible, they’ll constantly look for proof of this, to confirm their view of the world. They’ll find quotes and situations and events in their life and magnify them a hundred times.

If a person believes that life is wonderful, they’ll look for the corresponding signage and behave in a similar manner to the previous person with their view of the world.

Often, this is the same person on different days of the week.

Small people only want one thing from you:

Someone else to be as small as they are.

Stay big.

I made loneliness a home. Your ghost moved in next door. You should come get your stuff.
We help people when big things happen to them, when you see them getting hit by a car, when a brother or a sister or a father or a mother dies, we're there for them because we can see that death kills more than the person it takes. And yet, the people around us who die a little all the time, moment by moment, who require the least help, the smallest sacrifice, are the ones we ignore completely.

All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water.

And that's the tragedy of living.

Admit.

I found an angel.
I found many angels.

I'm surrounded, and I'm blessed.
Thank you for the memories, the understanding and patience.

I get so frustrated sometimes! But I guess I just have to make the best of everything! HAHAHA. Man it works. Do I just crush a lot? Hahaha, I get excited too easily! I feel like a kid again, I love it. Non stop, hahahaha. Change is really here!


badi badi beeep!!
is that why i'm desirable?

Nothing.

Nothing is reliable.
Nothing is set in stone.
Nothing is secure.
Nothing is for sure.
Nothing will ever stay the same.

I want an angel that doesn't wear wings.

...but for that, I'll wait. Everything should flow perfectly and things will sort themselves out without having to do much, I guess. I know greater things will happen for me, and everyone else, in time. I just gotta stick in there and DO ME. I'm gonna finish my last high school year strong, enjoy my summer, go to college and start the next chapter in my life. It's really not that far away.

I guess everything is really up to me. The choices and decisions I make determines the outcomes, long and short term. Everyone says "only you know what makes you happy" well I guess if that's the norm, then only I really know what my true happiness is, I just have to trust myself more often and not doubt myself or think my self worth is not any good. I'm just as capable to do anything just as much as the person next to me. Underestimating myself is no longer something I'll do. That was the biggest mistake of all..

Away from the ugly, and soaring high into the new life I prepared myself for. Breaking through the barriers and merging into something different..beautiful.

So, i've been contemplating. I am or will be better then what i am right now, i know my own worth... and trying to act upon that worth. mistakes made, lessons learned. life is change.

Let go.

Beauty in the breakdown

When you're dreaming with a broken heart..
Waking up is the hardest part.

Ha. Blah..truth? Everybody comes with baggage.

Everyone's got history, or herstory. A story about what went down before you stepped your way into their life. One thing that will never change is that your past has passed, so let yourself turn the pages. And if it bothers anybody that you're letting your life cultivate something fresh for you then shit, let them.. but don't let it slow down the progress you're making, because sooner or later the changes might stop altogether.

Tell the whole truth, acknowledge what's done IS DONE (for now? but hopefully FOR GOOD.) nurture, progress, grow. Realize the hurt in a once-was might become a once-again, be ok knowing it was at least a once-at-all, let your pages turn, and let others turn theirs also. They got every right to.

Even though we all want to change..I'm not sure if you can erase bad feelings. When something.. let's say "bad," happens, I tend to associate a place with the feeling. I will always have the bed I lie on every night, the computer I stare at on occasion, the music that mixes my emotions, and countless bus rides back home. If I feel "bad," I'll return to them because these spots are meant for these feelings. But then, I have the dilemma of going back and growing up. The smallness in me feels weak and can't bear to face anything like that again, and I'm too afraid to try. I'm wonderin, if you give it enough time, if after you separate yourself from that place and that feeling, those spots can just be places and nothing more. That bed is just a bed to sleep, the computer is just there to look at anything, and the bus ride back home is nothing but a simple way home.. well, yeah. I think I might be at the stage where I know I can't erase what's happened, but maybe I can walk down and just replace the memory with something better.