Tired

I think I've lost that grasp of connection that I used to feel when it came to.. you know. I thought I could get it back, but right now it does not even seem plausible.

It scares me how much I keep thinking about this. Everything that I used to believe... it just doesn't seem like it applies to me anymore. If there are any emotions inside me about myself, I'd say I feel weak, doubtful, and tired. My all does not feel like it has any value whatsoever, so why even have it?

Maybe it's not that easy anymore. Something in me is....blah. And way to start a new year right..? Yeah...

This has dried up and stayed behind,
and if I stay I'll be alive then choke on words I'd always hide.

Forgive me first love, but I'm too tired.