Beauty in the breakdown

When you're dreaming with a broken heart..
Waking up is the hardest part.

Ha. Blah..truth? Everybody comes with baggage.

Everyone's got history, or herstory. A story about what went down before you stepped your way into their life. One thing that will never change is that your past has passed, so let yourself turn the pages. And if it bothers anybody that you're letting your life cultivate something fresh for you then shit, let them.. but don't let it slow down the progress you're making, because sooner or later the changes might stop altogether.

Tell the whole truth, acknowledge what's done IS DONE (for now? but hopefully FOR GOOD.) nurture, progress, grow. Realize the hurt in a once-was might become a once-again, be ok knowing it was at least a once-at-all, let your pages turn, and let others turn theirs also. They got every right to.

Even though we all want to change..I'm not sure if you can erase bad feelings. When something.. let's say "bad," happens, I tend to associate a place with the feeling. I will always have the bed I lie on every night, the computer I stare at on occasion, the music that mixes my emotions, and countless bus rides back home. If I feel "bad," I'll return to them because these spots are meant for these feelings. But then, I have the dilemma of going back and growing up. The smallness in me feels weak and can't bear to face anything like that again, and I'm too afraid to try. I'm wonderin, if you give it enough time, if after you separate yourself from that place and that feeling, those spots can just be places and nothing more. That bed is just a bed to sleep, the computer is just there to look at anything, and the bus ride back home is nothing but a simple way home.. well, yeah. I think I might be at the stage where I know I can't erase what's happened, but maybe I can walk down and just replace the memory with something better.